Thought collection.

There is this man, he is lost deep in a desert. Only few drops of water are left in his bottle and it looks hopeless to find the right way, to find rescue. Then, suddenly on the horizon, he sees something that looks like an oasis, maybe he will be saved after all? He has new hope and that gives him new strength and power to reach what turns out to be a dried out oasis... false hopes... nevertheless, he manages to fill his bottle with a few more drops of the precious liquid right there. But he will have to move on, to find rescue. He walks to where his feelings tell him is the end of this desert. Along his way he passes some little springs that help him fill the bottle again and again. Night after night, he sees light on the horizon but it's always just the dawn of a new day and never what he hopes to find, rescue. He is still on his way through the desert, he hasn't found rescue.

***

I am thankful. Am I really? I should be, that's for sure. I cannot complain, I have a good life. That's what they say. Then again, what defines a good life, isn't that something strictly personal? I can mention some facts that technically might determine I am leading a good life, seen my abilities. And yeah, technically I agree. On the other hand, things go through my mind and make me think. Very slowly, I manage to build new friendships. Something to be proud of for someone like me. It takes a lot of time and energy. But I believe it's worth it. Friends from America have just visited and it was great, they were wonderful to have as guests. End of the month another friend will come to visit. I am going to visit a few concerts. I get few but lovely sms from a few friends and even lesser calls. But hey, that's still a big change compared to what it used to be before. Nil. So I am thankful.

***

Someone chats to me who really misses me. I chat back, reluctantly but I don't want to offend. I'm not really in the mood. At the same time, I chat to someone else I really miss. He answers reluctantly, probably he doesn't want to offend. He's probably not in the mood. What I do to someone, does someone else to me. That's fair, isn't it?

***

I miss him. I miss the long talks we had. About many different and interesting things. He showed and taught me new things, He widened my horizon. I miss that, too. At the same time, I have long talks. About some interesting things. But they are not the same, because they are not with him but someone else. At the same time, he has long talks. About interesting things and they too are not the same, because they are not with me but "the other". That's how life is, I know and he told me. But still, I can be a little sad about it?