...it never happens to me.

Picture this: you're sitting in the train, on your way to work, a 20 minute ride. Then, across you on the other side of the aisle, a young punk-ish twenty-ish guy takes a seat. The guy is somehow interesting to look at because of his style. While looking you finally realize that the guy has one hand in his trousers - yes, in his crotch! You start wondering if he suffers from lice or maybe is just re-arranging the "contents"... and while keeping watching you confirm to yourself that indeed he has a hard-on hidden in his trousers! And yes, he is playing with himself, while you keep watching! Of course, you decide not to look any other way but keep looking! And he keeps playing... and there's your stop, you exit the train to go to work.

Well, this did not happen to me but to a good friend. Such things never happen to me. I wonder how I would react if it'd ever happen. Maybe it's how I appear towards others that this would (n)ever happen to me. And I don't even know whether it's something I should be sad about missing...? I guess to experience the "excitement" and being "attractive" to someone else (even for such a purpose as simply being an audience) is cool since it's out of the ordinary (somehow)? How about you, have you had such experiences? How did you like it, how did you react?

Here, have a million dollars.

"You have to give away a million dollars."

Wow. That's easily answered you would think, right? Well, at least I thought so in the first instance. But then, when I started to think about the details I couldn't exactly figure it out. Of course you start thinking "I have to give to charity". After all, people look at you and your answer and most probably expect that. But then it get's difficult: what charity? But then again, what do I care about others? It's my money supposedly and I can decide what I do with it.

Suppose there are no restrictions in how I give away the money:

What I knew right away was that I would split the amount: Of course I would give some of it to my parents. Then another part would go to my friend Katja. Many years ago I made a deal with her: should I ever win the lottery I would give her part of that. I made the same promise to my lilbro, he would get a significant (bigger than Katja's) amount as well. I would also make sure a small part would go to my ex Klaus, he is a great guy but always short of money. For him a monthly transfer of a certain amount over a longer period would be nice. Then, of course I would make sure there is a big amount for my hubby. I would want him to have a financial safety net. A little is left now for charity. I don't exactly know what charity it would be but I think I would like it to be some gay project. I would have to investigate what kind of gay projects I would consider worthy receiving some money. So I wouldn't save the planet, environment, kids or animals with it. No, it should be something to help other gays.

So, here's how I would split it up:
Mom and Dad 200000
Katja 100000
Lilbro 200000
my ex 100000
my hubby 300000
charity 100000

Well, it's definitely not spectacular but I like the idea that I could give some money to my loved ones. They are dear to me. I could see the money go to a good cause and not disappear in an anonymous giant charity organization.

Suppose this split up of the money and giving it to family/friends would not be allowed:

I can see this alternative: I would set up a trust that gets the full amount. The members of the trust who decide what charity receives money from it would be (guess who) my mom and Dad, Katja, lilbro, Klaus and Jelle.

So this would be my million dollar spree. How would your's look like?

Trip of a lifetime: going to Japan with Dani.

Dani and me in a typical yukata provided by our hotel during our stay.

Beginning of March I had the privilege of taking a trip to Japan with my beloved lilbro Dani. Let me give you a short trip report of our holiday. I can summarize the overall impression of this trip in one word: unforgettable!

A few months ago we had the idea of making a short visit to Japan. After all, it's Dani's passion and if you know him you know how much he loves the country, the language, it's culture. When going to work I passed a small advertisement stand at the airport which was of the city of Tokyo where I picked up some info material, amongst it a flyer of the Tokyo Anime Fair. Around this event we would eventually build our little trip which ended up being two weeks long. ;-) We also soon decided this would be a trip just for the „brothers“ that we are, the soulmates, without our beloved hubbies. They would stay at home this time.

Dani and Sera saying Goodbye at the airport in Madrid

I had been to Tokyo in 1987 for the first (and last) time but I barely remembered something of the city. So I gladly enjoyed Dani's planning for our trip, trusting his expertise as he had been to Japan two years ago – anywhere we'd go would be new for me. Dani's plan would bring us to Kyoto, Okinawa and Tokyo from where we would make excursions to several places of interest for us.

Dani onboard the Lufthansa Airbus in Business Class

So, on a friday morning, I left Amsterdam and flew to Frankfurt where I would check-in at the Sheraton Hotel right across from the terminal building, store the luggage and proceed straight to the next flight, one from Frankfurt to Madrid where I would pick up my lilbro in the afternoon. We both returned to Frankfurt the same evening and stayed at hotel. The next day, saturday, our Lufthansa flight would take us to Osaka (of course we travelled in style in business class) and from there we took our first train ride during this fabulous holiday to get to our hotel for the next days, a traditional japanese Ryukan in Kyoto.

One of the Shinkansen trains we travelled on.

From our base at Kyoto we made fantastic and very interesting excursions with trains (either local or one of the many variants of the Shinkansen) to Nara, to Hiroshima, to Osaka, to Miyajima and to Fushimi. These places were all different and yet so fascinating. If I had to name a favorite, it would be really difficult. For some reason I tend to like Fushimi very much, I can't really tell why. But Miyajima was also very beautiful and it is also considered to be one of the three most scenic spots of Japan. On the other hand, very impressive was the visit to Hiroshima. It touched me deeply, especially our visit to the museum dedicated to the memory of the desaster that hit the city with the deployment of the atomic bomb.

Me in Hiroshima.

After a few days we continued our journey by plane and headed a little over two hours south to Japan's „Hawaii“, to Okinawa. Here, a mild, spring like climate awaited us (after the winterly temperatures of Kyoto). We stayed in the islands capital Naha, which to me seemed like a smaller version of Honolulu, a little more modern, cleaner yet a little less beautiful. Unfortunately, to see Okinawas beautiful beaches, you better don't stay in the capital but rather head north on the island where many luxurious resort hotels can be found. We did get our fare share of natural beauty though on a self organized excursion to one of the closer outlying islands, to Tokashiki


Grotere kaart weergeven

Here, we found beautiful crystal clear waters on white sand beaches and water as blue as you'd always dream of a South Pacific sea would be like. We rented a bike and drove from one side of the island to the other and had a brilliant day on this remote, deserted spot. The weather was nice too and we managed to get a sunburn that day.

Dani in Naha, Okinawa.

After our few, relaxing days on Okinawa we again took the plane and headed north again and flew to Haneda, Tokyo's „city“ airport. In Tokyo, we again stayed at a Ryokan, the typical japanese style hotel. Of course as one can imagine the city is so large that it takes days to get at least a first impression of this fascinating metropolis.

Dani and me at night in Tokyo.

We walked through the most famous and interesting districts, at day and night, like Akihabara (where we looked for some electronic gadget bargains which in the end we didn't find). Of course we managed to visit the beautiful Ghibli Museum, a visit I can really recommend if you like the movies of Miyazaki!

Dani and me at the Ghibli museum.

We went to Shibuya and also Shinjuku, we went up on the Tokyo Tower, payed visits to Roppongi Hills to enjoy the spectacular views from the top of Japan's highest building at night, we walked through the center along the Emperor's Palace and of course payed a visit to the Tokyo Anime Fair which was very interesting to attend to! Of course we had a drink one night in a gay bar and Dani even introduced me to a gay sauna, my first visit ever – how exciting!

We visited the Tokyo Anime Fair.

Also from Tokyo we used the Shinkansens and went a little south to Hakone where we spent a wonderful day and enjoyed spectacular views of Japan's sacred mountain, the Fuji-san. We made a sightseeing cruise on Lake Ashi, rode the ropeway and took different trains and buses around the Hakone area. We concluded our day with a relaxing visit to a big and beautiful japanese Onsen. We were impressed by the beauty and the more begged for such an institution in our own countries. One can't describe the pleasance of having a relaxing bath while socializing with your friend, enjoying the soothing effect of the water and calmness on body and soul.

Another excursion took us north to Sendai and a little further to Matsushima, considered one of the three most scenic spots of Japan. We again were very lucky with the weather and enjoyed a beautiful sunny day at this gorgeous spot on the northern coast of Japan. We took an enjoyable little boat cruise around the bay of Matsushima and before returning to Tokyo paid a very brief visit to the city center of Sendai, a city that surprised us how big and clean it was. We somehow had expected a much smaller city up there in the north. Again we returned by the reliable Shinkansen in a two hour ride back to Tokyo.

During our visit to one of the three most scenic spots of Japan, at Matsushima.

Our trip to Japan ended much too soon unfortunately. We spent lovely days at all places. Dani and I got along very well. To me it felt as if I knew my lilbro for ages. I truly enjoyed his company day and night and now, being at home, I can honestly say I miss him very much – in a good, pleasant way of missing your buddy, your true friend, someone you really love and very much look forward to seeing him again real soon if possible. To me, this was a very special trip, certainly an unforgettable trip of a lifetime. It was an honour to spend it with you Dani, I feel privileged to have been your travel mate for this memorable journey. From the bottom of my heart, I deeply thank you for being that special friend that once again you proved to be. Thank you for taking me with you on this journey. I will cherish the precious memory in my heart.

All comes to an end, eventually: we are checked in for our return flight in Business class again to Munich. A kind ground staff of All Nippon Airways offered to take this shot of us at Narita airport, one day before the terrible crash of the FedEx plane that a day later would turn the airport in a chaos.

Thank you Dani, for all you did, for the great times, the wonderful holiday, for the little brother you are to me. A million kisses and just as much hugs to you, beloved lilbro. Still, that wouldn't be enough...

My first Kiss

It was my first visit to Klaus. I had met him through a common friend in my hometown and it clicked on our first meeting. I was interested in him and he in me which surprised me. He is five years older. We agreed on a visit and I went to visit him by train. I hoped to stay overnight for the first time in my life but had no idea if that would work out. After I arrived it sooned turned out he had similar ideas about my visit... ;-) We came closer to each other on his couch in the living room and that's where we first kissed and which became my first passionate "real" kiss.
I remember the days after were a bit embarrassing as I had sore lips from heavy kissing with him...

Discipline.

Here's the thing: I need to be more disciplined. I tend to spend way too much time in front of this computer without doing something really useful. Since weeks for example I try to start a photobook project (like blurb) and until now I have not set up a single page... I have a few ideas in my mind but still, I don't start. Another thing is my "Learning Spanish" project, I have spoken about that recently. Though no course or such is on the agenda yet, I am busy with it now trying to consider different options on how to continue with that (but I still feel I could be more disciplined about it). I want to go to the cinema regularly but still have to set up a schedule for myself. I have to be more strict (again, disciplined) to myself with regard to cooking. We tend to be way too lazy and rely a lot on prefab food from Albert Heijn (the dutch supermarket chain). I have started to force myself to cook, even if only for myself ('cause Jelle is once again on a self imposed diet...sigh). I like the cooking, I liked the food I made and it doesn't cost too much time (which I was afraid of). I made a start, but I need to continue more strict with the cooking thing. Another thing: punctuality! I am not punctual at all, since months. I urgently need to change that. And then, there is the most hatred part I have to be more disciplined on: household. That includes anything, from cleaning dishes, doing laundry, dusting, tidying the rooms and keep them tidy. The problem with the last is that this also involves Jelle and since we both are very much alike it's not working very well if I am disciplined and he is not... So for that I still have to find a workable solution. But at least I need to start on myself to be more focused on such things. It's not something I can't do, it's just a question of discipline, I believe. 

Please feel free to share your ideas on these things, I am again thankful for every tip and suggestion.

Very disciplined, a hug.

Unforgettable visit

My very special birthday cake, candles blown out already after I made a wish

So on Friday was my birthday and as I had said before I would go to London to celebrate it!

To summarize it shortly: it was the best birthday I've had. After we all had arrived in London and checked in at our hotel I was in for a big surprise: Dani, Jelle and Sera had organized a birthday cake for me and they entered the room with it, singing "Happy Birthday" to me! Now that I think of it it does bring tears of happiness to my eyes... it was really so beautiful, at that moment I felt the luckiest person in the world! Thinking back of it, I am happy again! I was there, with my hubby and my most beloved friends celebrating my birthday for the first time in many years. Since a long time I did not bother to celebrate this day. I accepted that my parents would congratulate me but I never felt like celebrating it with somebody. But this year was different: some things in my life have changed and therefore I also wanted to celebrate my birthday again. I opted to make it special and asked Dani and Sera if they would come with me to London to see Mamma Mia together! When they said "YES!" that was the biggest and most beautiful gift for my birthday already! I was so happy that I had the chance of celebrating this (non special 42nd) birthday with them and my hubby Jelle.

The same night we had a very nice meal in an asian restaurant (and my chopstick capabilities are terrible... how am I gonna survive a vacation in Japan...?) and after returning to our hotel we took a piece of my birthday cake for dessert ;-)

Jelle, Dani, Sera and me

The next day, Sera's good friend Marisa joined us and we strolled leisurely through London, did some shopping, met my flickr friend Bernie finally for the first time which was really great fun! He is as nice in real life as he is on flickr and I am really happy I have had the chance to finally meet and see him "live". 

Me and Bernie

Later on we also met Dani's friends Leo and Matt. And then, in the evening, we went to see the musical of Mamma Mia! I had seen the dutch version of the musical some years ago and did like that a lot. But I was very eager to see the original language version here in London and I must say it was really great!!! The performance was fantastic, the live orchestra and the cast performed so stunning well, it was pure pleasure to see them play and hear them sing! 

Sera, Marisa, me, Jelle and in the front Dani (photo taken by Leo).

Dani and I were constantly singing along and in the end when they start playing the full song of Dancing Queen for everybody to sing along there was no stopping us anymore. It gave me shivers of joy and excitement to sing out loud and together with my beloved lilbro the song which is one of my all time favorites! That was soooo much fun, I was happy, really really happy!

Jelle, Dani and Marisa

On Sunday we visited Camden Market which I enjoyed a lot. It is so diverse, I saw lots of funny t-shirts (though I didn't buy any) and we had some fabulous food in one of the food stalls there. We then made our way down to the Thames to have a look at the London Eye and that concluded our activities in London for our short but oh so worthwhile visit! We had to go back to the airport where we both caught our planes back to Amsterdam and Madrid, sadly, both were delayed (thanks a lot, Easyjet). 

Once again, this was a memorable, very special incredible weekend for me and I want to thank Jelle, Dani and Sera for making it so wonderful. It was awesome guys, thanks a lot to you. Many kisses to you and lots of hugs. I can't thank you enough for making me so happy and spoiling me so much. From now on, my birthdays will never be the same again... 

Learning spanish?

Okay, so here's the problem: I am lazy. But I want to learn Spanish. I had started to attend a course back in July last year until end of last year. But due to my work I had missed several lessons so I quit and did not continue 'cause I was unable to make up for the missed lessons.
I know that I need to learn, that I need to be less lazy in that. I am willing to. Though at the moment I think it makes no sense for me to attend a school again as I can foresee that I won't be able to regularly attend it due to several holidays I will take. I also work shifts which makes it very difficult to visit a course regularly. But still, I desperately want to learn this beautiful language. I haven't figured out a plan yet how to do it, any suggestions from your side? Self study needs a lot of discipline which I also don't have, so the school thing was a good slight pressure for me... ;-) Luckily I have a few friends with Spanish as their mother tongue and I can pick up the pronunciation from them from time to time. But maybe some of you have had similar experiences in picking up a language and can share their opinion. I know I need guidance in learning due to my lacking self discipline. Maybe I should look into some online communities...

Un abrazo, everybody. ;-)

A respected boss.

On the 29th of January, there was an interesting interview (unfortunately in german only) in the german newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (FAZ) with Lufthansa's former boss Jürgen Weber. He is now the chairman of the board of the airline and as such gave an interview. The most interesting he commented on for me was his statement about salaries of top management: he thinks even top managers should not earn more than 100 times the average of the companies' employees salaries. I think that's reasonable. He says we can't take America as an example anymore and I agree on that, they simply went crazy there with the giant salaries for even failing managers. He is a simple modest man who worked his way up in the company and that's what I admire about him. He is realistic, he knows the problems of the small employee in the company as well as he sees the whole picture of the airline in the competitive business. He has a lot of respect between the employees I think. He was very popular when he was still the boss of the airline. He is the kind of boss I have respect for. Too bad today's modern, younger managers don't have his style anymore.

Youth memories

Sometimes it pays when you go from one blog to the next and further to another one: that's what I did tonight when I followed a link to the blog La pastilla roja. I was attracted by a too familiar logo that appeared as a still in a youtube video, as seen below: Falcon Crest! It was my most favorite of those typical american soaps of that time and I really loved it. And I guess that was partly because of the beard of one of the main actors... god, I'm so predictable... :-P In any case, I loved the series and also the main tune and you can listen back to it down here. If you want to know more about the series, follow the link to the blog as the author has an interesting post with more details about the series. 

I wonder if many of you liked this series too or which of the famous ones was your favorite? Was it Dallas, Denver (as Dynasty was titled in Germany) or Falcon Crest? I don't know Santa Barbara, I can't remember that we had it back then in Germany. 

A warm cuddly hug for you. 

Ciao - a movie.

Today I came across a trailer of a gay movie that fascinated me the moment I read the story. I can't wait to see it. Here's the synopsis from the official site of the movie:

A man dies very unexpectedly and leaves behind two men: Jeff, his best friend, and Andrea, an Italian he’s been corresponding with online. Jeff informs Andrea of Mark’s passing; Andrea writes back to express his shock and sympathies. On a whim, they continue their correspondence and a rapport grows between them. They eventually meet, where they extend their e-mail exchanges into more personal and intimate conversations. They talk about their respective countries, their jobs, their families, their lives. Mostly, they talk about Mark. What began as a tragedy that linked two strangers from different ends of the world becomes a deeply realized friendship that may change their lives forever. 

There is a group on facebook about the movie: CIAO movie | Facebook

and an official movie site: http://www.ciaomovie.com

Have a brilliant weekend everyone, hugs.

Life of a moth.

What can I say? Not much I guess. When being asked what I did this weekend I answered "the usual", meaning I worked and did nothing. 

I feel not bad, there's just that emptiness inside. There are some things that I really look forward to in the coming months. So, there are little highlights on the horizon. But on the short term? Even then: I look forward to Christmas, not the holiday but something that is more important to me than that but hopefully will take place around that time.

I'm the kinda guy that people like, it's nice to have me over for a coffee, or maybe have a dinner with but not the kind you would call. You just don't think of someone like me, I guess. Hey, it's nice if I call and ask you out, ask for a date to meet, yeah. But most would never think of calling me. Maybe I'm not entertaining enough, not funny enough, not intelligent enough to have a good talk. I don't know, it's a guess, a very wild one. I developped that theory from facebook. I noticed. I look at some people and they constantly are busy, get comments and have nice, sometimes even funny "chats" with their friends. I never belong there, for a multitude of reasons. I understand those reasons. Unfortunately for me, I seem unable to build this myself. I just can't and I don't know why?

I compare myself with a moth, circling around the light. The light is another friend. Lots of moths circle around that light. I'm just a moth, not the light where other moths circle around me. ;-) A funny picture maybe, but kind of true. On facebook I keep on commenting on other people's comments, status or whatever and if I'm "lucky" I do get a reply. It doesn't happen very often though that someone reacts on something I do. I regularly get those invitations for some kind of app, yeah sure. But frankly, many of the few friends I have do have much more friends and therefore get much more attention by more different people (I guess). I wonder if that's deep and satisfying but at least it's some kind of attention... I still refuse to believe in those mass friendships, I still try to build "real" friendships, if that's possible at all? Same on flickr, if I don't comment regularly on others' streams or post very "provocative" photos, very few really care it seems.  Though I feel it costs me way too much energy for little or nothing in return. I have no clue if I do something wrong or what I should do different - maybe there isn't anything I can do more or different, maybe that's just the way it is? Maybe I have to accept that people just like to have me in the background, not too overly present, as a kind of human decoration in their lives? 

I find it hard to "just" be the moth, I envy the "lights", the guys who have that natural popularity. I should be used to it by now, it was never different in my life. So, I should not complain, go back to my chat and wait another minute or three before it's this moth's turn again for an answer... Don't get me wrong, I do understand, I always have, always will, that's how I am.

That's - I guess - the life of a moth.

P.S.: my comments are made in general and don't have any reference to a particular person; it's meant as a general observation of how I feel and I really do not refer to  anybody in particular.

To the unknown reader.

Hello dear reader.

Yes, today I am talking to you. I don't know who you are but obviously you know me and for some reason are interested in some way in me and my life. That's amazing, as it is not very special or exciting. But nevertheless, you come here regularly and I don't know who exactly you are. It's a pity because if you read my blog carefully you would know I like to meet new people, so why don't you say "hi" to me? The other day Jelle said to me he heard from someone at work (and I didn't bother to ask, I don't know why) that I had written something on my blog about my parents. That of course started me thinking who in the world you could be. Obviously you speak more to my boyfriend at work than to me and still my life seems interesting enough for you to follow it here on my blog. I think it's a bit sad that you do not approach me directly, if you are interested in me. Or am I not interesting enough for that? But then again, why bother following my blog? Oh well, I may never find out who you are and I can live with it. After all, it's a public blog and I have to take such things into account. But still I would be happy if you leave a mark here, ask me if you have a question. If I can, I'll answer it.

Besides all that, thank you for your interest and enjoy your stay here. ;-)

Masks, screens, faces and mirrors

May I direct your attention to a very interesting post over at the blog of Finnegan Bell? I found it very much worth reading. Have a look here.

P.S.: Coincidentally, Finnegan chose a picture to accompany his post that reminded me of my own picture I took of such (the same?) mask this year in Scheveningen, The Hague.

Sick at home.

Luckily it doesn't happen too often to me, but on sunday it did: I became sick. I had been at work for an early shift and I hadn't slept well. Actually I felt terrible that morning but still I decided to go to work. But arriving there I felt miserable: I sat behind in our "back office", just to come by. But suddenly, my blood pressure went wild and since I know that feeling I did what I know helps me in that case: I lay on the ground. But it was pretty cold and it is not comfortable, naturally. The chair in the back wasn't comfortable either and suddenly I had the urge to vomit! I did not make it to a toilet in time 'cause it came really quick and I had to use the waste basket in the office! I felt soooo bad and so stupid and kind of embarrassed. My colleague was sitting in the front and I was throwing up in the back... It helped a little but still I did not feel comfortable so my colleague sent me home. I had hoped to get home without any more throwing up but suddenly in the train it happened again so I hurried through the train and at the last minute I found the toilet... Luckily, I could get out fast enough as I was just finished when the train already was stopping at my station... At home, I went to bed immediately and still, I woke up several times and had to go to the toilet to throw up two more times... I stayed in bed until four in the afternoon because I felt really bad, tired and weak. My skin was very sensitive and it felt like I had a cold, every move felt unpleasant. I think I probably caught some kind of virus or I ate something bad the evening before. Jelle was very sweet and looked after me, gave me tea and salty pretzel sticks, dry bread and more tea.
Today, I am still drinking tea and soup only. My lilbro advised me to try some rice too so I added that to my soup (as you can see in the photo), that's more tasty and has some bite to it. I don't like the dry bread too much I must admit...
Luckily, today I feel better already. Jelle was very sweet and concerned and my lilbro is just as caring and it feels very pleasant to be pampered... I have reported sick for today as well and it feels good to be able to recover a few days as I am off duty for two more days as of tomorrow. The rest, sleeping and to not feel the draught (which we have a lot at the counter) feels good. It's really untypical for me to report sick but this time I felt I had to do it. The last time is years ago and I normally only do it if I really, really feel bad. So you can tell how bad I felt yesterday.

Anyway, I'm on the upwards path again but I felt I give in impression on what's going on - after all, that can be part of a blog as well. So I hope to be well and alright tomorrow or wednesday again.

Many hugs.

Thank you for the music, Sera!

The other day when Dani, Sera and I were at Sera's house before we would go over to Dani's place and while Sera was getting ready, Dani and I listened to some music on Sera's iPod. Suddenly Dani played a piece of music that I knew for so long and didn't know what it was. So immediately I got excited because I wanted to know what it is but when Dani told me what Sera's iPod claimed it was I knew it wasn't the right title. But god bless modern technology: I asked Dani to use his iPhone's smart app Shazam (which Jelle recommended to him, just for the record... :-D ) to listen to the music (and occasionally lilbros do obey their bigbros wishes) and within a few seconds it returned the answer and I finally was able to download this wonderful piece of music! I think I know it from my childhood as the opening tune to some famous Radio Luxemburg show (back then, RTL was a very popular radio station in the Cologne/Rhineland area but broadcasting on FM from Luxemburg, it even had cult status especially amongst the younger audience - at that time, Germany did not know any private radio or tv but only public stations so RTL was a popular alternative to the dominant public Cologne based WDR).

So thank you so much Sera for bringing back this wonderful tune and with it some great childhood memories. May I present it to you? Here it is:



Barry White's Love Unlimited Orchestra - Love's theme

If you want to know more about the song, there's even some wikipedia info on it! So much for the seventies, welcome back to 2008!

Kisses to Sera and Dani, hugs to you all. ;-)

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Mama!

 

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Mama!

Today, my beloved mom celebrates her birthday and so I went to Cologne for the occasion to give her my birthday kisses personally. ;-) She was very happy and also my dad was very happy to see me. Mama prepared some simple but oh so tasty lunch and in the morning after my arrival I enjoyed a delicious breakfast with some typical german things I like for breakfast. 

Then, way too early I already had to leave again to go back to Amsterdam. I was only one day off which I had specially requested due to her birthday so I could only go there in the morning and come back the same day. But it felt good to see them again. They were very sweet to me, I enjoyed seeing them, talking to them and it made me really happy to see that my mom was so happy with my visit!

 

In the afternoon, Mama and Papa drove me back to the airport and before I had to go through the security control we had a last espresso and that's where I took these pictures. 

I hope there will be a chance soon for them to come over to Amsterdam or else for another visit of me to Cologne.

Updated, pictures included! Going to Madrid: 28 Cumpleaños Dani

Korean Air Airbus 330
Originally uploaded by CruisAir

Today, I want to give a short trip report about my trip to Dani's birthday.

On Friday, after a very short night because I simply stayed up too long (say, til' around 1.00am...) and after my early shift that started at 05.00 in the morning I was able to catch a plane to Madrid.
As you know, I like airlines and planes and if possible I try to fly as much as possible on different airlines and aircraft and different routes... (and you thought YOU were strange, huh?...).

Anyway, coincidentally, this trip was special: first, it was my 700th flight ever! The honour for taking me safely to my destination goes to Korean Air. I took their flight KE925 which started in Seoul and made a stop in Amsterdam on its way to Madrid. It was a nice and pleasant flight. I was a bit disappointed though that I did not have personal inflight entertainment which I had expected on a long haul aircraft. The catering though was pretty good, a warm (!) meal was served for the two hour flight which was a bit delayed (because the aircraft already left Seoul too late). All in all, I would rate the flight (despite the warm meal) behind the recent LAN Chile flight from Madrid to Frankfurt.

The second reason why this trip was special was THE reason to go anyway: my beloved little brother would turn 28 on that weekend and it meant a lot to me to be there with him and to celebrate. As I said before, Dani is very important in my life for a trillion of reasons. Therefore it was a true highlight to be there and personally congratulate him.

When I arrived on Friday, I "amused" Dani a lot: I guess he thought I was retarded because I couldn't find where he was waiting for me but I swear, the signage at Madrid's T1 is terrible and will lead you anywhere but your destination! My god, it took many calls to him to get directions before blond me finally found him patiently waiting outside... did I mention that I even sent him to T4 in the first place, assuming my plane would arrive there...? And did I mention I told him I would arrive after only a one hour flight...? My god, it must have been my sleep shortage that day... and I even work for an airline but all I did and said that day was simply, ehm....retarded :-D

Dani, Sera and I went to a gigantic mall on Friday evening. They invited me for dinner (I'm never allowed to pay, I seriously have to talk with you guys about that!) at a very good asian buffet restaurant where we had a great dinner with lots and lots of food!

Saturday, Dani and I did some shopping for the evening when some friends would come to join the celebration. Dani prepared a quiche in the afternoon (another of his "famous" recipes) which was really good! We made sandwiches and cheese/ham/tomato sticks and had the usual party ingredients like chips, nuts and that kinda stuff.

In the evening, his guests arrived and it was truly a really nice night! We laughed and talked a lot and I was simply very happy to be there when it turned 12:00 and my lilbro turned 28!

Dani got some really nice presents and I think he loved them all. It made me soooo happy to see him happy too!

Me and Dani wearing one of his presents he received

After opening all his presents and even more laughs and talks we went to a totally packed Irish pub close by for a final beer and we all went home after that. It really was a great birthday celebration, I loved it!

On sunday, after we slept long we had lunch with his friends

Jose and Miguel 

and his mom at a very good chinese restaurant! After that, Dani and Sera met some friends to go to a theater show while I met with Alex to have a drink which was very nice. After it, we met again and went home to conclude another wonderful evening at Dani's cosy home!

I had a great time, it was awesome, sensational, brilliant and simply fun to join Dani for the first time on his birthday and I guess I can call myself a really happy man to have a friend like him! Thank you, my beloved little brother, for the wonderful time again and being the friend to me that you are! I am so lucky, so happy, so blessed.

Feliz cumpleaños, Dani!

Today, my beloved Dani, the man who during time became my best friend and who I dearly love, for being the "little brother" I never had but always wanted, for being the true friend one always desires to have, turns 28:

Feliz cumpleaños, querido Dani

With all my heart dear lilbro I and also Jelle wish you all the best for your birthday and the new year in your life. I hope it will bring lots of beautiful things to happen in your life. May your love to Sera blossom as never before, may you always be healthy, may all the dreams and hopes you have come true - if I can be of help of any kind you can count on me, always. The greatest gift I can give to you is already with you since long. It's getting bigger, more precious and unique with every day. What more can I add, except for my extra special and sweet birthday kisses and the most tender hugs your bigbro can give you.

If you can, you should do it.

One of these days I received a mail from my friend Stewart. I was so much impressed by the video it linked to that I decided to rather make a post than to email it to only a few other friends.

It's a story of a father and a son. The story is about integration, it is about love, it is about abilities, it is about endurance, it is about strength, it is about believing, it is about so many things that you would never imagine this inspiration comes from them at first sight.

I would like to share this video here with you.



If you want to know more about Rick and Dick, you can read a little about their story here or go to their website Team Hoyt to learn all about them. 

It is true, in so many ways: if you can, you should do it.

A hug.

Thoughts.

No, nothing happened. But every now and then I fight with some feelings that are bothering me. I have to write a few words about it to get rid off it - well, I wish that would work like that... ;-) What I will write about does refer to my friends in general and is not referring to a specific friend. 

A great exception though is Dani who is always there for me (be it by phone or chat or email or even in person or by his thoughts and even though he doubts that himself!). Also Franc is calling me and chatting to me more or less regularly and Katja who calls and visits a few times per year. I'm not being polite here, that's the way it is and how I feel about you. So guys if you read the following, it's not about you. ;-)

While I try since months to build up new and rebuild old friendships, find new friends, become more social I sometimes feel I make no efforts at all. You see, I sometimes call people (the least of my means of communication that I use I must admit), I more often send SMS, I once in a while send emails and I'm available for chat many hours of the day, more or less. But often enough, nothing happens. Of course I do know and understand people live their own lives and I know often enough the reason why people are so busy with their lives (e.g. new found loves)... but still, that does not prevent me from having that lonely feeling that I wanted to get rid off. So, sometimes I feel a bit sad that there are ten people present in the chat program and not a single one is interested in chatting to me. Of course I can pick any of them and initiate it myself, but friendship to me is a two way thing, isn't it? I'd sometimes love to be surprised by a warm email, a nice chat or SMS or even a call. To get the feeling one of my friends thinks of me... Jelle just said to me, maybe it's now paying back to me what I did to my friends years ago... well, maybe... but I don't really believe that. I know, I am impatient. This all takes time (a long time actually) but sometimes I'm really frustrated by things around me and then speaking to a friend could make all the difference. Jelle also mentioned to me that the fact that many of my new found friendships are "only" virtual make it maybe less serious friendships but I don't agree with that. Of course you can have superficial virtual friendships but I consider the "real" virtual friendships that I found good and serious ones. Nevertheless I try to make those virtual friendships "real" friendships by trying to meet the (usually) men and get to know them personally. The best of all friendships to me then develops when I speak, chat, listen, call, SMS, visit, see the one as much and regularly as possible - that luckily happened with Dani. Naturally, it's a logistical problem in real life to meet regularly if you do not live in the same city, I understand that. Finding more friends in my own city therefore would be an advantage but I haven't figured out yet how I want to do that. 

Don't get me wrong - I am happy with the friends I found. I just miss your contact, I guess I'm in need of a lot of attention and unfortunately I cannot get it as much as I want to. I do enjoy regular chats with some of you, like Russell and Alejandro. It's really a pleasure to turn to you and speak. But that doesn't replace "real" friendships and that's what I miss. For example, for me it's important to have something to look forward to in my life. Some event to live up to, well, look forward to. Like going to meet someone, going on a vacation, meet with a friend, go watch a movie, have a coffee, eat dinner... to be honest, there is nothing at the moment or in the near future that I can look forward to. Sure, there is a training in November that I have to follow for two weeks in Zurich. But to be honest I am a bit "scared" about the thought, being away from home, the possibility to contact someone by computer, being on my own, knowing nobody, being cut off from MY world. I'm not too shy to speak to the colleagues there but I know I will feel lonely and that's certainly not an idea I am looking forward to. Of course there is the plan to make a day trip with Franc some time soon or go to see a movie with him, but nothing fixed yet. All these things (and probably a few more) add to my overall feeling and I hope that explains a little why I sometimes can feel really down. 

I am glad I wrote a few words about this. Honestly, I feel better. But most of all it helped speaking to a friend. Thanks lilbro for lending me your ear once again. 

Lots of hugs and kisses to you all.

P.S.: Dani, you know why I exempt you from the above? It's very simple. Don't forget that we are in contact very very often. You always try to say at least a few words to me as you often know how important it is for me. You often respond to emails I sent you. You do that despite the fact that you are very busy these days and don't get treated well either but still you manage to think of me and show your support to me. So for that reason don't worry if you not always answer every SMS or email - the things you do are so much that they easily compensate for what you think you lack to do (which you don't). I do feel guilty that you probably feel a certain pressure from me, that I make your life just a little more complicated than it could be. But maybe it becomes a little easier when I tell you that it's sometimes that simple smiley from you that makes all the difference for me, the "virtual" kisses you send or the hugs you give or that friendly, cheerful comment you make or just that smile and your laugh I can hear through the telephone that make me smile too, cheer me up, make my day! 

I honestly appreciate all you do, as you said yourself, that's what friends are for and I am most fortunate that fate brought us together.

Needless to say, I try to be just that for you too. Maybe that's the reason why I call you more often than you would normally expect. I am probably just trying to compensate for lack of other (direct) communication. After all, I am interested in your life as well and I want to hear what happens to you too. I know there is a difference of some kilometers between us and somehow I strive to bridge that distance. So bear with your bigbro ;-) 

P.P.S.: it really felt good to hear Sera's voice, I was very happy to hear him say "Hi" in the background! Please tell him he always has a very positive effect on my mood too!

P.P.P.S.: Damn mobile phones! :-)